No spitting in Enfield!!!!
I have been accidentally phlobbed on too many times, mostly by idiots not looking as they exited shops. They seem to have some idea that it's better out than in. Spreading germs doesn't even cross these people's minds.
Can we please now extend this to no violent expectoration of a single nostril (particularly gross), no chewing gum and fag butt throwing and no dog poo bag disposal? I really don't get this dog poo in plastic bag thing. Biodegradable waste matter is being preserved in plastic for our ancestors to deal with. Not nice. And what about cat poo? No one is coming round to my garden to clear up the stinky shit left behind by felines. It it not pleasant when gardening to happen upon something soft and pungent.
Which reminds me that there are lots more things I would like to outlaw...
As per the pic bottom left "Commit No Nuisances". Specifically...
No heavy perfume wearers on public transport.
No non-collapsible pushchairs on buses – recently I witnessed a lady, obviously just returning form a holiday with two suitcases and 3 bags of supermarket shopping, moving them all when a woman got on the bus with an EMPTY collapsible pushchair and commadeered the space. Grr.
No standing on toilets. That means the seats too. Also, if you really do have to hover, no dripping on the seats – if you do drip, clear it up.
No carrying of umbrellas without being in possession of a BPB (Brolly Proficiency Badge) where you will be taught the many aspects of brolly etiquette such as learning to judge width restrictions and the eye height of other pavement users.
No walking out of shops without looking to see if there is anyone coming along. Do these people drive cars?!
No ranting on and on.
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