9 January 2012

What a boob! Breasts are go go go!

News this week is that thousands of women are to get their fake boobs de-commissioned by the NHS because the private clinics who installed them (yes, installed) in the first place say it isn't it's their responsibility. Our money is about to be spent on (in the most part) self-obsessed vain women who wanted quick fixes.
I agree with the clinics; after all no one forced these women to have operations they didn't want to have. The women made free choices to spend their own money on something they thought was going to make them feel better.
I can't be the only one who isn't surprised that the breasty bags of seepy goo are starting to break down and infect these women's bodies.   
A thought: if they fall over in their silly high heels and break their legs are they now going to expect the shoe shops to pay up for that too? And, whilst I am on the high shoe subject, what about the osteopaths they are going to need sometime soon too? It's gonna get really expensive...
Yes, there are women whose lives have been radically improved after the loss and then replacement of a breast after cancer treatment, but on the flip side, I have actually heard mothers encouraging their 18 year old daughters to have a boob job; girls that look absolutely lovely as they are and should not have someone, least of all their mother, suggesting that they are sub-standard. That's wrong on so many levels.
The money might be better spent getting these women into therapy to help them understand why they are being duped into thinking they 'need' this invasive surgery in the first place. As I write this I am reminded that when my mother was receiving radiotherapy the nurses told her that women were often coming in to the hospital to ask for the treatment because they had heard that it destroys the hair follicles and was therefore better than waxing.
It's all about quick fixes. Getting the latest look. And it's been going on for centuries – I bet these women with their gravity-defying chests would probably be outraged at the beauty regimes of the past...
To get that perfectly pale look Elizabethan women applied lead directly to their skin to lighten it (a practice that dates back to the Ancient Greeks) and they used mercuric sulphide for those must-have cherry lips. Finally, a dab of belladonna to brighten the eyes. Ooh lovely. But no pain, no gain.
The Egyptians used a variety of metals to keep them looking attractive including lead sulphite and copper. More recently the Victorians used arsenic for so many things its hard to believe they lived as long as they did.
These days the beauty industry is still enticing woman to part with their money in the most macabre of ways. What will future generations think when they look back at all this? When they remember the women who thought it was normal to have their faces injected with poison for that constantly surprised yet dim look. And had bits of cows put in too for the perfect fishy pout?
Is your arse not round or pert enough? Whack in a a few bags of silicon to get that bootylicious behind. Too fat? Eat a few pies and get a man with an oversized dirt devil to vacuum it out for you.
Luckily I don't need all this. I have perfect breasts and a fabulous arse. Yeah.
Fried eggs for breakfast anyone?
Breasts:
Top: Lime Street, Holloway, Dalston, Paddington 
Middle: Isle of Dogs, Leon, Long Acre, Haymarket
Bottom: Bloomsbury, Paddington, Rotherhithe, Shaftesbury Ave

6 comments:

Aladdin said...

You are quiet right. I love fried eggs:)

Malcolm Edwards said...

Ha ha, me too!

Oh, and don't forget radium, the Victorians loved radium. It was usd in toothpaste, hair creams and even suppositories! The really weird thing is that this fascination continued well into the 20th century.

http://urbantitan.com/8-weirdest-radioactive-products-that-people-actually-used/

Now, back to the boobs LOL

vintagerockchick said...

At Last! Someone has come out and said in print what I've been thinking. I couldn't agree with you more - Some poor soul is going to have to miss out on vital treatment or wait even longer for an essential op just because a bunch of stupid vain women chose to do this to themselves. The NHS really shouldn't have to pay.

Jane said...

Re: "This was a huge news last year in December. There were even fears that the silicon was toxic that could lead to health problems."
Well, thank you for that inane comment reiterating my piece above. A bit ironic seeing as you are offering similar procedures.
Your comment and the link to your site has been removed.

Jane said...

Stew, Daniella and Maia... this is a totally stupid space to place your ads. I cannot believe anyone who reads my blog is really interested in your products.
I will be removing all of your comments.

Jane said...

All ads posing as comments have been removed