No trimmings at Alfie's in Bermondsey

I had my Christmas dinner this year with friends at Alfie's, the restaurant on the ground floor of the Bermondsey Square Hotel.

Well I say Christmas dinner, but that's not what was put in front of me, even though it was Christmas Day and it was my main meal of the day.

Hmmm... so what went wrong?

At £35.00 for 3 courses plus drinks etc and a 'discretionary service charge of 12.5%' call me a fool, but I was expecting something reasonably good. But what I got was tiny and tasteless.

My terrine starter was nice but then the main course was placed in front of me. I waited for side dishes or something but nothing came – that was all I was going to get – a few bits of pan fried turkey on a bed of cabbage with 3 or 4 strands of carrot and some one inch cubes of potato, all drenched in an over-powering gravy, served in a pasta bowl, yes, a pasta bowl...!

Where were the parsnips? The cranberry sauce? The proper roasties? It certainly did not fulfill the description on the menu as being "with all the trimmings". I ate it in about 7 mouthfuls in less than 5 minutes (nutritionists say the main meal of the day should take approx 20 mins to eat).

Then the pudding arrived. It was an unattractive individual blob of a thing about 6cm in diameter and 3cm tall. I cut it half. It was squishy and one tiny mouthful confirmed that it was barely cooked and watery. I don't recall any brandy sauce coming with it.

It was too much to take. I was so disappointed. I complained and got my main course removed from the bill and agreed to a little sticky toffee pudding as a replacement for the wet blobby thing. It was OK but it wasn't very sticky.

Needless to say I shall not be going to eat at Alfie's again.

Here's another not so good review.

Oh, I almost forgot, the male and female signs on the toilet doors are horrible – they are bronze casts of a woman's bra and a pair of Y-fronts. Due to the colour of them and their crumpled-ness both items lead one to think that the hotel is promoting casual sex in the toilets or is renting the rooms by the hour!

Ah well... The streets in and around Bermondsey are littered with interesting gems... all of pics above are less than 10 mins walk from the restaurant.

Poison Apple

Season of goodwill and all that but here comes another rant...

I work on an AppleMac. Years ago Macs were only used as work tools by designers like me. But Apple had to pull it socks up and appeal to a wider market and now it seems everyone and his mother owns something with an i in front of it.

My latest gripe involves upgrades and unhelpful advice. Here goes:

I can't have an iTouch until I upgrade my Mac to 10.5 or higher. It seems I need to be running Snow Leopard. For those of you who are confused about that, you're not alone... read on...

After two hours of checking specs and forums on the web I was none the wiser as to which SL product I needed to buy so I booked a 'Genius' appointment at the Apple Store in Cov Gdn.

When I got there the place was packed – after all, it is just an internet cafe without the food and drink. There is no signage to say where the Genius Bar is; one has to keep asking. There is also no signage anywhere to say where anything else is either.

Two red-shirted numpties came up to me and asked if I had a one-to-one booked. Er. Yeah? Dunno? What? My name wasn't on the list. When I explained why I was there they looked me like I was the most stupid person in the world and and told me (d'uh!) that I had a 'technical' query, and then mentally patted themselves on the back for being so jolly and obsequious yet perversely condescending and patronising.

This did not put me in a good mood. And I had to wait ver 20 mins before I was seen. My grinning nerd, sorry, genius, said I needed Snow Leopard. It occurred to me at this point that he just assumed I knew what this was – Apple seems to think that we know about every Apple product they sell in advance, both in-store and on-line. It's not very helpful.

I explained my problem and my genius asked what system spec I was running. Had I not had the foresight to take with me every bit of info I could find he would not have been able to help me. Ooh dear reader, how further pissed off would I have been then?

But, good news – the diagnosis is that I only needed to spend £25 to upgrade my system. Phew!

So... as I'd only used 5 mins of my 20 I thought I'd quiz him about other things, and bloody glad I did because I needed some info about upgrading my iPhoto. (In order to create the montages for this site I have set up a lot of cross-referenced files for the 16,000+ images I have on file – I have hundreds of folders and sub-folder in there – a bootscraper pic may be filed in 'Bootscrapers', 'Bloomsbury' and, due to its cat shape, in 'Animals' too. It's an old package and is suffering with overload.)

BUT, get this... hold onto your seat... he told me when I upload Snow Leopard my old iPhoto won't work! And, furthermore, if I upload the new iPhoto (part of iLife, which contains 3 other things I don't need) it won't retain all my existing folders. Aaaargh! I almost self-combusted.

The genius gave me nothing in the way of advice how best to get around this but instead just looked at me as if to say, 'that's it, I am done... next!".

It's like throwing the whole contents of a metal filing cabinet into a skip.

Yes, I have the originals all backed-up chronologically but what an uphill struggle it's gonna be... once I get iLife, I will have to re-make my folders (see you all in February when I have finished) and then load SL, and then possibly get an iTouch. Or not.

Or I may just give up and go and live in a hut on a wi-fi-less beach somewhere...

What really annoys me about this is that Apple have made us all their puppets. Once hooked, we have no choice but to keep upgrading*. Hard to believe that not so long ago Mac-users were derided by PC users convinced, as these people were, that Macs would be phased out. But thanks to Mr Jobs, what was once a piece of kit that I used to do my job on is now a toy for the masses, complete with family and friends.

The i in iTouch, iMac, iPhone etc is obviously a reference to Steve Jobs, not us – there is no me or you in Apple; it's themMaster, themControl, themBoss.

Thoughts... I can't help but think that we are losing a lot here; where are we going with all this in the future? Backing-up to DVDs and CDs is all well and good but discs have a short shelf life, yet a vinyl record can still be played, a Box Brownie will still take pictures, 35mm film can be scanned to any size...

What would happen to my photos on Flickr and this blog should I drop down dead tomorrow?

And finally, it just occurred to me that I create these montages using Quark... don't get me started about that other bully, Adobe...

*until the next must-have system comes along...

The state of my health in ghost signs

Less than 2 weeks after shaking off the last headcold and I've somehow picked up another one.

This isn't funny. I have been coughing and sniffing and sneezing for 3 days now and I am really not happy about it. I can't remember the last time I felt like like this. Oh gawd.

I read somewhere that there are over 147 common colds... we don't stand a chance... perhaps I have been mixing with the dirty public too much lately...?

Ironically I am working at the British Medical Journal this week!

So stay healthy, build up those antibodies, wash your hands, fight those germs, but don't get silly! I fear that in the future the human race won't consist of the survival of the fittest, but instead people will be cocooned in head-to-toe latex, and babies will be made in laboratories.

All of these and more here.

Festive Fair at London Docklands

This is where I will be showcasing my Amelia Parker clay pipe jewellery...

It's just occurred to me that some of you may not have taken in that this not at the main Museum of London, but at the sister museum here.

If you are planning on coming, the museum galleries are open as usual during the day but the fair does not start until 6pm.

Stalls will start clearing up 8.45pm.

Thanks.

And a really big thanks to the guys at Londonist for writing such a brilliant feature about Amelia Parker clay pipe jewllery in today's Santa's Lap.

Charles Dickens Museum in Doughty Street

The home where Charles Dickens wrote The Pickwick Papers, Nicholas Nickleby and Oliver Twist is getting £2 million from the National Lottery Fund.

The house in Doughty Street, WC1, is now home to The Charles Dickens Museum and they intend use the money to store more than 10,0000 books, manuscripts etc relating to Dickens' life.

Dickens lived in the building for only two years (1837-39) and this brings me to my blue plaque bugbear... how long does someone need to have lived somewhere for a blue plaque to be deemed appropriate?

OK, in this instance, a few novels were written on the premises, but has anyone else noticed how many blue plaques in London represent Dickens because he slept on someone's sofa one night, popped in for a cuppa, or lived 'nearby'!

But the museum is well worth a visit, and Doughty Street and the adjoining Bloomsbury streets are worth a stroll down any day as the area is a mine of wonderful architectural features, as shown in the montage below.

And here are 15 interesting facts about the man.

The best that London has to offer

London Ambassadors, a scheme run by London Mayor's office, is aiming to recruit 8000 volunteers who can help show off the best that London has to offer during the Olympic and Paralympic Games in 2012. Apply to be an Ambassador here. Or go to Facebook.

In conjunction with this drive they are also running a competition asking Londoners to recommend a place that they think no trip to the capital should be without. As per Jane's London this should be not just the usual visitor attractions; they are looking for hidden gems such as small museums, cafes, restaurants, shops, alleys, etc that are not on the usual tourist trails. The 60 winners will be chosen at random (which in my opinion is a bit daft) and will get a ‘Take Two London 2 for 1’ Voucher and Guide Book which contains £900 worth of potential savings to be cashed in at over 70 London attractions, restaurants, bars, museums, galleries and tours. Enter here.

The competition closes on 10th December 2010.

Picture refs here.

Christmas markets

There are a lot of Christmas fairs and markets in London this year. Perhaps I am ultra-aware of this having left it too late in the year to apply for a stall at one of these markets to sell my own stuff.... ah well, next year...

Some of this year's bigger markets are listed here and here. But there are lots of smaller events worth checking out here, plus others this weekend in SW17, N16, and next weekend in SE17.

However, the good news is that I have managed to secure a stall at The Museum of Dockland's Festive Fair taking place on the eve of December 9th. There will be 50 stalls selling various kinds of unique arts and crafts, plus a bar, live music and carols, and the museum galleries will be open for the duration... so please do come along and say hello.

Top row: Hampstead, Stoke Newington x2

Middle row: West India Quay, Carey Street, Hyde Park

Bottom row: Crouch End, South Bank, Belgravia Mews

Ice, Ice Baby

Bloody hell... has London gone ice skating mad?!

There are plenty of rinks here in London already – the indoor ones in Streatham, Finsbury Park and Romford, and the seasonal outdoor ones that have been about for years at Somerset House and Broadgate – but it feels like very other day I hear about yet another rink opening for the Christmas season. Have we gone ice skating mad?!

I say 'we' but I haven't attempted to skate for over 30 years. It wasn't a good night; I wasn't very good at it, my friend had her hand cut by another skater's blade when she fell over, and someone went home with my brand new wedges such that I had to go home sad and shoeless. Now I am dare try to ice skate in case I put my back out!

But if sliding about on slippy things is your kind of thing, here's a fairly comprehensive list of where to do it.

Top row: Greenwich, Queensway, Tower of London, (Highgate)

Second row: Somerset House, Natural History Museum, (Regents Canal, Commercial Road), Hyde Park

UKCG urging their worshippers to go into debt

I just read this in today's Times...

It seems the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God, which occupies the old Astoria/Rainbow building in Finsbury Park, is encouraging its congregation not to pay their personal bills so that they will have more money to give to 'God'.

UCKG say that only when people sacrifice all their worldly possessions will their financial prayers be answered. They even offer financial 'help' with this.

It saddens and angers me that this sort of thing is still going on, and less than a mile from my front door.

Read the articles here, though you have to subscribe to the Times site (I will attempt to upgrade this in due course). And here's a 'review' of the church.

The only positive thing I can say about all this is that having a church in residence has meant that the interior of the lovely old cinema has been kept relatively intact. You can wander in and have a look around – just be sure not part with any cash when you are there.

Bar Boulud at The Mandarin Oriental

Earlier this week, thanks to Travel Onion, I went for a lunchtime treat in Knightsbridge with a few other London bloggers. I wasn't sure this was gonna be my kind of thing as when I started this blog I wanted to be specifically about things on the streets. But I am so glad I accepted the invitation as the place and the people were lovely.

I'd have been happy just wandering the hotel's corridors, lobbies and staircases as the inside of the building is beautiful – a lovely mix of old England with touches of the East – but we were also taken inside some of the rooms including the spa, the beautiful and ornate dining room that overlooks Hyde Park, the original entrance on the park side of the building, a standard room (did they say approx £800 a night depending on the season?!) and then to the Royal Suite which was stunning... if you are interested in the price for a night there, then multiply that last room rate by about twelve!! If anyone needs a roommate for a night, just get in touch. (Actually, does that sound a bit forward?!)

After our tour we were treated to lunch in Bar Boulud on the ground floor. The food was scrumdicious (my own word!); plates of charcuterie consisting of patés, hams and terrines, plus seafood platters and salads, followed by a main course, my choice being one of their fantastic hand-made burgers – the one I had had foie gras in it but is only available on Sundays and Mondays.

Oh, and we had four different wines, all of which were explained (what's the word I want here?) to us by the Head Sommelier. Excellent! In a nut shell, I'd love to eat there again, especially as I was impressed at the competitive prices. But I suspect it'll be hard to get a table there soon as the place is becoming very popular. Rightly so.

Oh, and if it's not enough the hotel having David Boulud, it seems Heston Blumenthal is opening a restaurant there soon too, though the hotel's site says Autumn 2010.

And the light fittings throughout the whole building are gorgeous.

Islington royalty and nobility

Walking from New North Road to Angel tube station via Prebend Street the other day I noticed that most of the pubs I passed were Lord this, Duchess that, Earl whatever.

So I have delved a bit deeper and found that within the N1 postcode there are.... eight Dukes (Cambridge, Clarence, Richmond, Sussex, two Wellingtons and two Yorks), two Duchesses of Kent, an Earl of Essex, the Marquess Tavern and a Marquis of Salisbury and Lords Clyde and Wolseley.

And there are lot of Royals about too – Kings Edward VI and VII, William IV, two George IVs, Charles I and the King of Denmark. Plus Princes Albert, Arthur, of Wales and Regent and a few heads and arms of non-specified Kings and Queens.

So what's all that about then?

These are all fairly self-explanatory except the Balls Pond Road image which used to be the Marquis 0f Salisbury.

Bulldoze Battersea Power Station?

Ooh this should rile a few people... but here goes...

The latest plans for the shell of what used to be this wonderful building is to convert it into shops and offices; er, haven't we been here been here before? A few times, even?

And is it really going to happen this time?

I have always hoped that BPS could be brought back to life in a good way, but after all the years of neglect I am starting to think that someone should have the balls to just knock the thing down now and start again from scratch – after all, the new developments that surround it, like the Howard and Warwick buildings, haven't exactly been built with any sympathy to it – it just looks silly surrounded by all those charmless glass boxes.

When BPS was originally built as part of the National Grid system it was an architectural showcase full of polished metal and waxed wood, to show the rest of the world what Britain was capable of. Workers there had to wear felt over-shoes so as not to mark the expensive parquet flooring. But all that is long gone and what is left has been ruined thanks to the removal of the roof decades ago. It's all so sad. What are we really trying to hold onto anymore? And do we really need yet another shopping centre?

The latest plans look to me to be extremely similar to the Kings Cross development. Everywhere is gonna end up looking the same; it's all so homogenous.

Below is a collection of architectural images mostly taken in the immediate Nine Elms vicinity. Also included are two shots featuring that hideous Albion Riverside Building, which is further upstream.

Bubbles and dancing

It's promo time!

Win a top night out in London...

Everyone likes a glass of bubbly and Freixenet are hosting a 'VIP competition' through Facebook – the prize is an evening out at an exclusive London venue where the winners will have a dance lesson with that gobby Brendan Cole of Strictly Come Dancing, quaff some lovely Cordon Negro cava and nibble on top quality canapés.

Click here... good luck!

Top row: Strand, Crouch End, Goswell Road, Tottenham

Second row: Marylebone Road, Shepherd Market, Holloway, St Martin's Lane

Cruising under the Thames bridges

A few days ago I was lucky enough to travel on a widebeam cruiser along the Thames from Limehouse to Kingston.

It's as near as I have ever got to standing on a river. What a fantastic experience.

All in all we went under 19 road bridges, plus another eight foot, rail and lock bridges too. Actually, make that 10, if Hungerford and the two Golden Jubilee bridges count as three separate things.

I wondered if there was a mnemonic for remembering the names of the bridges in order. I cannot find anything specific but there has been a forum at Londonist on this very subject. My personal favourite is this one which covers the 12 road bridges shown below from Tower to Wandsworth.

Only a couple of the above images of the 12 bridges in order, east to west, were actually taken on the day. I have just looked up some info on the figures on each side of Vauxhall Bridge – the east-facing ones represent local government, education, astronomy/science and the fine arts, and those on the west-facing side allude to architecture, pottery, engineering and agriculture (which I thought, with its scythe, looked like the grim reaper!). More here.

Fireworks, wire works, iron works etc

I love love love a fireworks display – did you see the one at the end of the Thames Festival earlier this year? – wow!

But gone are the glory days of Highbury Fields on Friday followed by Primrose Hill on Saturday, because fewer boroughs are putting on fireworks displays these days due to the costs. And a bit of H&S probably creeps in too. Those that are going ahead may have a nominal entrance fee – something like a £1 – which is fantastic value, especially when you consider that councils have been burning our money like this for years! I wonder what else it could have been better spent on...

Here's a list of organised displays in and around London this month.

ooh... aah... wooo... wow!

Top row: Vauxhall, Hornsey, Homerton, Walthamstow

Middle row: Walthamstow, Brixton, Paddington, Bermondsey

Bottom row: Southwark, Bermondsey, Finsbury, Kensington

More fun with dates and numbers

Ten days on from all the tens and this eve will have 20:10 20th October 2010.

I know I haven't got three 20s... so, sorry, but I can't do a montage this time.

Check out my collection of dates and numbers here.

That man in Notting Hill

I am really pleased that after a fair bit of cajoling from me that Malcolm took my advice, set up his blog, and has been posting quite frequently.

Being perhaps his biggest fan (that's just to embarrass him!) I reasoned that other people should also get to read his friendly, and often amusing, streams of consciousness about his observations on stuff that goes on in and around London.

My only criticism is that I think he ought to include more of his lovely pictures into the posts... after all he has thousands to choose from.

Malcolm lives in Notting Hill. I was over that way last month and, when in Moscow Road looking south, I took a photo of a mythological beast on a rooftop in the distance. So far, Malcolm has tried in vain to identify where it might be. It's the image top left... has anyone else got any ideas what building it's on?

Most of these pics are taken in and around W2 and W11. Those that aren't have tenuous links to Malcolm; he is a goat and a rabbit (I am a tiger and a lion) and he liked Joanna Vasconcelos's Big Booby at the wonderful space The Haunch of Venison Gallery are occupying at the moment at the back of the Royal Academy in Burlington Gardens. Her show was really good.

Try before you buy

This is a blatant promotion, because I think it's a good idea...

I have found this great London site called Tasterlab where you can get vouchers to test things out before you splash out on a subscription. Or not. They have dance and language classes, courses, coaching, dating and more. Check it out here.

Clockwise from top left:

Testing Southwark Street, SE1 / Dating Tottenham, N16 / Dancing Victoria Palace Theatre / Films Parkway, Camden / Chinese Romilly Street, Soho / Boxing Regents Canal, N1 / Painting Reeves, Dalston E8 / Sport Westbourne Grove

10:10:10 10th October 2010

I missed out on 05:06:07 on 8th September, probably because I was asleep, but I'll be awake for this one.

Clockwise from top left: Temple, NW10, Holloway, Smithfield, St Katherine Docks, Finsbury Park

London River

It's a strange title but this is a film about two people who paths cross when they are both hunting for their missing (adult) children in London after the bombings on 7th July 2005.

I am writing about this now because I forgot to do this earlier in the year when it would have been more relevant, and I just noticed that the film is out on DVD on Monday 11th October.

What I like about this French-made film, apart from the very good performances and slow pacing, is that it isn't littered with silly images of iconic London buildings, but instead centres on the Finsbury Park area, specifically Blackstock Road where the missing people were living.

The pics in the top row show places that pop up in the film, the second row are missing things, and the bottom row is the bottom row.

Top Row: Twelve Pins pub, N4 / The Old Dairy, N8 / Blackstock Road, N4 (x2)

Middle row: Doulton factory, Black Prince Road, SE11 / Star Street, W2 / Upper Street, N1 / Lincoln's Inn, WC2

Bottom row: Russell Square station / London Bridge / Kings Cross / Gt Newport Street, WC2

Faces in places

I am always seeing faces in things.

In fact my avatar on Flickr is even a found face.

There quite a few 'face' groups on Flickr, and blog sites too. One of them is Faces in Places, by Jody Smith and he has brought out a book of some of the best ones. My copy arrived this week – I've got three pics in it, none of which are shown below. I am amazed he didn't ask for my all-time favourite of the Greggs scary muffin man!

It just occurred to me that none of my chosen book pics are taken on the streets of London, as per the ones below. Find all of these and more here.

Theatre darling, theatre

I have been to the theatre two nights running this week! Blimey darling!

On Thursday I saw Yes Minister at the Gielgud Theatre in Shaftesbury Avenue. Lots of words and clever political stuff. Loved it. Consider this a short and sweet favourable review.

And last night I saw the last performance of a brilliant production of Pygmalion by the Tour De Force Theatre Company in a converted industrial unit in Hackney. The cast of five was excellent.

On the bus home I thought up this collection of theatre-related images, which I think may be my best cryptic collection yet. I hope you get all the references...

Top row: Marylebone Passage, Millbank, Victoria Apollo, Chapel Market

Middle row: Old Marylebone Road, Acton, Clapton, Temple

Bottom row: Shepherd's Bush, Kings Cross, Highbury, Hoxton

100 Club threatened with closure

News in Evening Standard and the NME that the 1oo club in Oxford Street, which has been staging gigs since 1964, may be closed down in a few months. I am sure a campaign is being set up as I write this in an attempt to save it.

This eastern of Oxford Street has become an absolute no-go area at the moment due to the rape and devastation being caused by the implementation of Crossrail – shops and businesses in this stretch must be suffering. Adjacent to No.100 there is now a great big hole where the whole block between Dean Street and Great Chapel Street has been demolished. It's not looking good.

The image is of the old Alfred Marks clock above the door.

Save The Wenlock Arms

It has recent come to my notice the the owners of this wonderful old pub intend to sell up and move on. All well and good for them, but it may not be so good for the much-loved pub as it will more than likely be demolished by any new buyer or developer.

Anyone who has ever been to The Wenlock knows what an absolute gem of a place it is; there aren't enough proper old boozers like this left these days. It's a lively place frequented by different types of people from all walks of life, plus it's a big favourite with real ale drinkers winning many CAMRA and SPBW awards.

So, to find out more click the links under this picture.

Please sign the petitions and do your best to keep the place open.

Letterpool London - Typographical imagery

Just realised I forgot to mention something within my recent post about Neville Brody's Anti Design Festival...

I meant to link to Letterpool London where four of the pics in the Gallery of 100 are mine! Let's hope the London book comes out soon and is as successful as the Liverpool one.

And here are more of my 'typography' tagged photos on Flickr.